my testimony

When I tell my story
They’ll just sit and listen
All these years of working hard
You’ll never catch me slipping
I owe everything to God
Force that kept me living
If it weren’t for him
I’d be gone, in a split minute
Thanks to him I didn’t give in
To the temptation
Taking my own life now
Is out of the question
I look back like damn
Look how I was thinking
All these dark thoughts
As if it’s my fault
People tend to hurt you
Just because they hurt
Had me thinking I had no worth
And that shit hurt
Even if you did love me undercover
I could’ve used your love when I had no other
You let me die inside, zombie mode
Idk how I survived, cheat codes
God lifted me up
When I thought I was done
Just when I thought:
I had no one
He said follow me
And you’ll get through
I’m not going to lie
I was skeptic too
But as you can witness
Now I’m just winning
Yeah, I’m just winning
Now I can see his vision
And that’s my mission
I’ve taken all these L’s
And I still do
But now I recover faster than in my youth
Now I see things for what they are
I won’t let the petty shit ruin my stellar heart
I don’t care how you doing now
Just know you’re forgiven
I’ve been through a lot
But here I am chilling
I pray that you one day
Find your inner peace
So, you can be up here
In the luxury
My mind state speaks volumes of where I’m at
You’ll just never find me and that’s a fact
You’ll just see me appear from afar
And wonder how the fuck
I moved in silence through the dark
And left a spark
You shouldn’t be surprised
Cause it’s a given
I was destined for this greatness
I’m just fucking chilling.
Slept on me before
Well Sleep on me now
Keep that energy
You had when I wasn’t around
Idgaf
I’m just doing me
Bitches ain’t shit
& Neither is he
I’m just doing me

ART| Source site
https://iwitness.usc.edu/SFI/News/Default.aspx?nid=c195a3f3-53e7-439d-8d12-5487e83f9dc8

tonight

I’m sitting in my room
& All I want is you
Boy
Nothing else to do
Let me and you groove
•••
Netflix on, subscribed
I’m just going by the vibes
*Status: uplifting *
And I’m about to take off
*I’m about to take it all off*
I just wanna start
Imma let you finish
Let you fuck it up
Cause you do it so right
What you wanna do
I’m just waiting for you
You just gotta tell me
And imma show out (show out)
You know what it is
You know what it do
Put it all on me
And imma ride for you
•••mm
What you waiting for?
I think that the time is right (now)
So come and fuck it up
Cause I need, you tonight

ART | In the mood for love by Alena Lavdovskaya

dark mode

1-18-21
He doesn’t wanna be with me, alright
Well, Imma have a whole ‘nother life just in spite
Release the animosity
That is beneath me
That is negativity
I will spring forth
Rise up and smoke off this earth
Cause I’ve been hurt
This takes away the pain
That drives me insane
Who’s to blame?
We lack control
Can’t keep me afloat
Oh, you jokes
At least I won’t overdose
Oh, I’ve been told
And look, behold
I’m here alone again
Although it’s okay
But We can’t be friends
Cause That what they say
But they just go away
And till this day
Idgaf
Cause I had enough
When it’s too tough, too rough
Nigga, I called your bluff
You’re not so tough
She’s diamond in the ruff
She wants to get cuffed
All you do is lust and lust
You thrust and bust
I need to readjust
Life is unjust
I give to Jah
In him I trust
The rest I
Leave it to the dust
For all I care
It can rust
I sit here in disgust
For all that was discussed
This is why I never fuss
Light this spliff and puff puff

ART| Dark art society / Copro Gallery / Chet Zar (Picture)

simple life

1-19-21
I love to succeed
So much I’ve achieved
But now I want rest
I need to sleep
That is enough
Life is so tough
Forward I must go
However long it takes
I haven’t made it
To my destination
I have been to so many places
And in a passing moment
I realize, this is not the station
On forth I just go
I am nomadic
Live life in the traffic
That is so tragic
I want a simple life
I want to be someone’s wife
But forward I must go
However long it takes
I guess I won’t know
Until I’m there
The simple life
Is where I’m spared
I’ll just feel impaired
But I’m not scared
Gods equipped me
I am prepared
And I stare
Into his eyes
To see if I can authorize
To see if he can romanticize
Will he optimize
His Nobel prize
I am verbalizing
The simple life
I am exercising his mind
But will he familiarize
I’m trying to form a union
A love transfusion
Live in the music
It’s just my vision
I’m in confusion
With the delusion
I keep getting lost
My love getting tossed
I’ve become so soft
But my hearts turned into frost
The feelings exhaustion
I proceed with caution
I don’t have an option
This shit is obnoxious

sleep

1-15-21
I want to fall asleep
And live inside my dreams
I have travelled far and wide
Witnessing it all as it seems
To live in a world that’s meant for me
I want to break free cause I believe
In something more than this
I want to live and experience bliss
Don’t want to miss it
I run into you inside my mind
In here you are so kind
It may have led me to
All of which that makes me blue
Cause it’s not true
I’m in the mood
For something new
Tired of the same ol same ol day
It never went my way
But that’s okay
It goes the way
He says
I want to fall asleep
And live inside my dreams
Forget reality
In there I am redeemed
I know that is extreme
But here I’m incomplete
In my dreams I am at peace
I let go let God, release
I don’t even want to use my speech
Feelings might come off with bleach
Pour on to my thoughts and screech
A wondrous mind is unleashed

legend

1-9-21
Wait a minute
Wait a second
I just realized
I’m a legend
Unlike no one has ever seen
I fight these battles elegantly
Through these tired eyes
My tears stream
Watch the words pour out
My mind needed to scream
My light bright as it beams
I call out to God
Hallelujah! Elohim
Why does this part feel like a dream?
Will I wake up soon to just my room?
As I sit there dramatically
In my impending doom?
Or will I wake up here
Eyes open and I see him
Caught his glance
His light is dim
Come now here
No need to worry
For now, I am here
My dear
Reading between the lines
Don’t want to get caught up
In a web of lies
Entanglements like this
Will be the cause of my demise
Oh, how the time flies
After all this time
I seen he hears my cries
That is why I have been saved
That’s why I survived
For I could never take the credit
To him I am indebted
Picks me up and I’m in heaven
That’s where he deemed me “legend”
All of this I have Reckoned
This journey didn’t just start
It’s been more than just seconds
I have pondered on this a lot
This life is more than just a sentence.
Go forth he says as I lead
He will guide me through the trees
He will brighten what is lacking light
He will point out which path is right
Now I need not fear of what is next
For he has told me I’ll be blessed
So on forth I shall go
And I will conquer the world
As I’ve been told
I will be bold with my approach
For I am light
Watch me glow!
Hallelujah! Elohim
Thank you thank you
For everything

lighter | interlude

1-23-20

Lighter
Oh, where is my lighter
I want to feel lighter
Every ounce of my fiber
Since I was a minor
I bared the burden
My heart was hurting
In my world, unfocused
I knew of my purpose
Lighter
Oh, where is my lighter
I want to feel lighter
This wood takes me higher
Preaching to the choir
Light it up, Fire
Important igniter
I’m trying to decipher
These attacks to my spirit
Excuse me, I need a minute
For I reached my limit
Oh, father dearest
Your teachings so vivid
But you made me fearless
This aint a gimmick
Lighter
Oh, where is my lighter
I need to be higher
Suddenly feel lighter
Just hold me tighter
Use me, make me wiser
Lift me, I am brighter
Lightweight
Like a feather
You opened the gate
A chance for better
Forget the vate shit
Amplify pressure
Lighter
Oh, where is my lighter
God is the driver
He loves me, I’m lighter

last laugh | interlude

1-19-21

Imma have the last laugh
I knew from the beginning
Should’ve listened to my intuition
I was just too busy grinning
Caught up with the vision
Why did raise suspicions
So many fucking conditions
& I was on a mission
You gave me an eviction
What was your affliction
My tears they just glistened
Unnecessary friction
I need a prescription
To get me out this prison
All of it was fiction
Imma have the last laugh

ART| Playing Coy – by Amy Smith